at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
