just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
