Small penises have feelings too.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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