i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
