She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize