the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
