I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
