he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize