Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Duck Duck Cougar?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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