OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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