the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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