Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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