Are we in a gay sports bar?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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