we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
