Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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