DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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