do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
