are you still at the devil's house?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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