I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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