I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
