Sry I called you an 8
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
