I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
