i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize