One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
