i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
