so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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