im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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