Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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