I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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