She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
