I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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