I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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