My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
