Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
