i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
