So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
