I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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