I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
