YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
