they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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