I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
