MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Let's paint friendship bongs
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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