I just saw a hot homeless man
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
