somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
