He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
