sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize