I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
