Tell her she can't have a vagina
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize