Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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