im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
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