Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
