What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
