Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
