He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
