Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
