worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
