what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
