i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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