So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
