im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
