used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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