Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
