Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
