Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
