We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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