So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
PANTIES FOUND
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